


The Ripple Effect by Ariaste

by GO_Library_archivist



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Adult Situation, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-24
Updated: 2005-09-24
Packaged: 2017-12-30 23:52:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GO_Library_archivist/pseuds/GO_Library_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which an angel and a demon have a bet,</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ripple Effect by Ariaste

**Author's Note:**

> Note from [Quantum_Witch](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Quantum_Witch/profile): this story was originally archived at [The Good Omens Library](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Good_Omens_Library), which I maintained for eight years until I closed it due to lack of funds and decreased usership. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing the GOL's stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in July 2013. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Good Omens Library collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/TheGoodOmensLibrary/profile), or through the [GO_Library_archivist](http://archiveofourown.org/users/GO_Library_archivist/profile) account.

[The Ripple Effect](viewstory.php?sid=102) by [Ariaste](viewuser.php?uid=7)

 

  
Summary:  In which an angel and a demon have a bet,  
and help each other save and tempt.  
(As you can see, I'm still in the Canticle-writing mentality.)  
Ahem. Also, in which Crowley tries to explain the ripple effect for saving/tempting souls.

Challenges: Play Spot-The-Song-Reference!  
Categories: [Slash Fanfic](browse.php?type=categories&catid=3) Characters:  Aziraphale  
Genres:  Humour  
Warnings:  Adult Situations  
Challenges:  
Series: None  
Chapters:  1 Completed: Yes  
Word count: 914 Read: 223  
Published: 24 Sep 2005 Updated: 24 Sep 2005

\---- by Ariaste

"So you see, angel, neither Above nor Below have any idea of how to do things these days."

"Peter, you know, at the Pearly Gates? They have him a laptop with high-speed internet access to replace that big book of souls," Aziraphale pointed out.

"I bet it doesn't even have solitaire on it," Crowley muttered.

"Actually--"

"Tssk! The point is, your people go about saving souls the same way Hastur and Ligur tempt them. One at a time. Working on them for years. Bloody fourteenth century minds, the lot of them. And you go about doing only timid little deeds these days. You really think that someone's gonna say 'Oh, praise be to the saints that I didn't break my fingernail! I think I'll go home, hug my family, and read the Bible!' ... Do you?"

"Well..."

"Fire and brimstone, angel! It won't work that way! You have to do it the way I do! Big, subtle gestues. Like... like the M25." Aziraphale brightened.

"Oh, there's plenty of crossroads, all over the world!"

"Yes, but they don't generate feelings of love and joy, do they?"

"If you drove someone 'round the M25 and then over a crossroads, you might..."

"There's too many people in the world for 'might', angel."

"Alright, how about I appear in full robes and wings in front of a congregation or two?"

"Wrong."

"Why?"

"They'll become radicals, claim they saw an angel, and be sent off to the loony bin because everyone will think they're hallucinating. And then the priest will be inspected by the state because they'll think that he's put some sort of drugs in the wine. Since all of them are innocent, they'll get angry, and then the asylum workers will get frusterated, and... hey, not a bad idea, angel."

"It wouldn't do that."

"Wanna bet?"

"Alright. You and I will appear, and--"

"Wait. Both of us?"

"Yes."

"Then you have to do a gig with me in return."

"My dear!--"

"Fair turnabout, angel./"

"Well. Alright."

******

"You want me to do what?!"

"Sssh, angel, just put 'em on."

"I'm not even going to pretend to do that--"

"Me," Crowley sniggered.

"In a house of worship!" Aziraphale finished desperately.

"C'mon, it'll be a load of fun, and you won't really have to do it..."

"But just two people are going to see it! How's that a ripple effect?" Aziraphale edged away from the armful of black cloth Crowley was holding out to him. Then the demon was suddenly pinning him against the wall with a hand on each shoulder and leaning in close. Yellow eyes, looking over the rim of his sunglasses, did not blink, as he explained very very rapidly.

"Choir director and youth group director see a priest fucking a demon in the back room--"

"Urk!"

"--They then proceed to get all horny themselves, like humans do, and with a nudge in the right direction, they realize that they're both late for their directorly things and run off. To their respective groups of small children and randy teenagers. They do the rest of the tempting on their own. Without knowing it."

"Crowley, that's horrible!"

"So is sending people to a loony bin. Put on the Roman collar, angel."

"No, Crowley."

"It won't be you tempting them, angel. Really, it'll be me doing it and you're just sort of there. Now, if you were going to be writhing and screaming under me..."

"CROWLEY!"

"Oh yeah, and saying my name just like that," Crowley said with a lecherous grin, "Then you'd be tempting them. But, I suppose if you'd rather be on the bottom, it wouldn't be too much trouble on my part." Crowley wrestled with the robes, trying several times to find the neckhole.

"I'm not having any part of this, Crowley."

"Look, 'Zira. Just like with your plan,there's two ways it could go. I could have assessed them wrong and they'll just... ask each other out for dinner and a drive and start a meaningful relationship that'll go straight... Up There."

"Well..."

"Please?"

"All right."

****

"Told you so, angel."

"Shut up!"

"Ooh, mean angel. Smite me with that flaming sword of yours! I've been a naughty demon and I need to be punished!"

"Shut. UP!"

"Why? It's so much fun."

"I said I was sorry, okay? Just -- forget about it." Aziraphale began walking away in a huff.

"Angel," Crowley said in a low voice, right in his ear, as he slithered an arm around the angel's waist. Shivers went down Aziraphale's spine. "Accidentally making an effort isn't a sin, you know."

"I'm an angel!" Aziraphale hissed. He hoped his cheeks weren't too red. "I'm not supposed to--"

"Don't worry so much about not supposed to. I was doing the same, if you hadn't noticed."

"You were doing it to tempt them, like you said." He squirmed out of Crowley's arms.

"But they weren't tempted, were they? They'll save each other's immortal souls."

"I suppose."

"Now why don't we go back to my flat, have a drink or two, and then you can save my soul." Aziraphale glared. His demonic counterpart grinned cheekily. "Just kidding."

*****

Angels and demons get very affectionate when they get drunk on coconut rum.

 

 

 

  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://library.good-omens.net/viewstory.php?sid=102>


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